Helplessly Tamed

Tribute to all women across ages who have faced any kind of harassment.

Disclaimer : This is the poet’s tribute to all women across ages who have faced any kind of harassment. This is written in imaginary nature and is nothing personal. Cheers.

There is an innocence
There is a sparkle
In a young girl
Unfathomable like no other

Haven’t each of us been always warned
About the dangers involving strangers
And yet in the rebellion
How does a stranger feel home?

They could blame her attire
Or her folks for her upbringing
Yet they could never man up enough
To finally identify the victim

The bubbly laugh was
Her father’s pride
And the contagious smile
Her mother’s honour

Life changes
Within moments
And maybe, she’d too
Never see the sun of the day

Was her uniqueness
The cause of her downfall?
Or was it
The prevailing inhumane artifacts?

World could name a thousand reasons
And yet never return her smile
You could fight for her
And yet she’d never look at you with the same eyes

Darkness now, scares her
And so does a mere human contact
Every handshake a throttle to the neck
And every hug a silent death

The hands that grabbed her
Left stinging marks
A mere look now
Would leave her skin burning

Who would understand?
Who would actually feel?
Was it really a reality?
Or just a passing nightmare?

Emotions that betrayed her
Were foes more than folks
Wearing heart on sleeves she learnt
Was really not a smart move

Would times ever change
For flaws to be beautiful
Or would beauty always be defined
In the absolute haux perfectness

Yet dear sweetheart,
Out of all you went through
I want you to know today
I UNDERSTAND.

In moments deep
When life’s a sinking sand
Let me hold your hand
To raise you to the cornerstone

Don’t lose hope, beloved
Heaven still loves you
Like a phoenix you’d too
Rise from the ashes

Photo by Saneej Kallingal on Unsplash

A PK’s CRY : RESPECT YOUR TORCHBEARERS

I came across some posts mocking Pastors and prophets. Unsurprisingly, it pained me to the core and hurt me deeply. Those posts were also an eye opener.

Sitting on the sofa immersed in another one of Daddy daughter talks, I was amazed by the facts flowing freely from him even after being a Pastor. Concluding the conversation with a sense of pride on being my Daddy’s girl I started scrolling my Facebook feed. I came across some posts mocking Pastors and prophets blaming them for taking tithe. Somebody had also put in efforts to write few lines on why pastors are not what they are supposed to be. Few lines of biblical definitions of prosperity and consecutively naming pastors as money mongers. Oh! The irony. Considering what we were just talking about. Unsurprisingly, it pained me to the core and hurt me deeply. Those posts were also an eye opener. Prettily judging the whole community of Pastors because of the experiences with a few.

Without further adieu, let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time, long ago in the journey of Israelites under the leadership of the young and suave gentleman named Joshua, there came a time when the priests were to cross the mighty river named Jordan. A river with a wave so strong and the rippling current. The Lord that led them through the Red Sea also ordained this walk.

The most prominent thing was the way every miracle happened amongst them. There was a law to be followed for a blessing to be received. There was a sanctification for a journey. Everything had its own regulations.

Consecutively, Joshua ordered a sanctification over the people irrespective of their age and gender ; thus marking the beginning of a historical journey. In compliance to the voice of Lord to Joshua, the priests were ordered to cross the river Jordan. Behind the priests carrying the ark of covenant were people following according to the tribe. Completely uniform in nature.

As soon as the priests stepped their foot on the brink of the river, the Lord, the Lord of heavens and the earth made the river stand in a heap. Soon following behind the priests were the people categorized according to their tribes. The hours passed and the priests reached the middle of the river and stood still to the side paving way for the crowd to move. Seconds turned to minutes, minutes turned to hours and hours to the time of the day. The people of the twelve tribes crossed the river and reached the dry land, all along when the priests carrying the ark were standing firm to the land. It was now the time of dark, the night. People had put up their tents in the dry land. Some had already retired for the night. Even amongst them there were some tents with their lamps still burning. The lamps burning outside of the tents of the family of priests. Children awaiting their Daddy’s return, wives looking longingly at the door of the tent with ears sharpened to hear at least the footsteps of their beloveds. The family kept the lamp burning. And the lamp of prayer and hope shined in the blanket of darkness that covered the clouds.

My dear friend, you see, right from sanctification, leading the way to standing on the side paving the way to the congregation and the lamp burning in the household shows the power of prayer and the whole journey of a priest. Keeping the congregation above his own family often times, the man stands faithful in his ministry.

The pastor you just trolled, the pastor you just dedicated a meme to, the pastor whose sermon you mocked after a Sunday service, the Pastor you Love, the Pastor who irritates you to no end, the Pastor you just spoke against to, the Pastor you adore : He DESERVES your respect.

Romans 13:1 says, “Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.”

1 Corinthians 12:28-31 says, “And God hath set some in the church, first apostles, secondarily prophets, thirdly teachers, after that miracles, then gifts of healings, helps, governments, diversities of tongues. Are all apostles? are all prophets? are all teachers? are all workers of miracles? Have all the gifts of healing? do all speak with tongues? do all interpret? But covet earnestly the best gifts: and yet shew I unto you a more excellent way.”

1 Timothy 1:12 says, ‘….he counted me faithful.’

Dear church, just like every single human being is different, every other minister of God is different. If one a prophet, the other an apostle. If one a healer, the other a prayer warrior. Whithersoever, each one perseveres in being the best at who they are.

As humans, often times there will be conflict of thoughts and emotions but Mathew says, Do not be judged so that you don’t get judged. Someone bound by just a single pump of the heart, we are all but just a mere breath.
Theology and humanly logic will tell you, the Levi priests are not the present day pastors. Let me remind you sweetheart, putting it in simpler words, if you see someone who stood with the Bible, don’t even dare to go and dance on their head top. Bible or any other law doesn’t give you that right or authority. Come on, the bear was quick to eat up the kids who called Elisha, a baldie. Got the intensity of raising your voice against Pastors? Good hun! Don’t repeat the stupidity.

Someone once said, If you don’t see the book you want to read on the shelf, write it. In the same manner, if you aren’t pleased with your ministers in charge, take the reins. Get up, girdle up and prepare yourself. If God could able a Joshua after Moses, an Elisha after an Elijah, a Nehemiah after Ezra ; God can surely raise you too.

Have faith! Give respect! Run your race.
This is a PK’s Cry!

Photo by Aziz Acharki on Unsplash

Carving My Renewal

Brought up in a family of prayer warriors and being a first hand witness to many miracles. Unsurprisingly, I was never once warned nor told a prophecy regarding my mental turmoil in the years to come.

Brought up in a family of prayer warriors and being a first hand witness to many miracles during my days of upbringing, having seen a perfect example on how to minister to the men of God by my mother and been inspired on how to give to the Lord by my Father, I was pretty much raised to be a proper Pentecostal Christian. Hosting so many men of God, I was also familiar to prophets and prophecies. Unsurprisingly, I was never once warned nor told a prophecy regarding my mental turmoil in the years to come.

It was a moonless, eerily silent night exactly two years from now. The month of July. I had hit an all time low and was facing something I hadn’t even seen in my wildest nightmares. The report that flashed on the screen in the morning had changed everything for me, and none for the better. Failure had come knocking on my door throwing me into an endless pit of despair and sorrow.

Tossing and turning on the bed, restlessness overtook my being. Hopelessness and helplessness clouded my head blocking all my senses. No one could reach to me. Words and actions seemed futile and labor gone in vam. Unable to sleep, I got up in the middle of the night. The sound of crickets and the darkness of the moonless night welcomed my eyes. Suddenly, I had a solution. A complete solution for my parents disappointment. A solution for me to run away from being an outcast. Without procrastinating much, I simply took a knife and started carving it deep into my skin. And to this day, those are my battle scars, still fresh wounds. I couldn’t cry, my eyes had gone dry. No more tears. The pain inside was so overbearing, it managed to surpass the pain I was trying to inflict on myself. That night was the beginning of few more nights of self-harm and another final futile attempt of suicide.

I meditated with all my heart, I prayed with tears, I attended camps and fellowships religiously and I was every Pastor’s favorite kid. Inspite of all these feathers in my cap, I still to this day wonder – “How could it happen to me?” My understanding of the scriptures was so low, God’s will didn’t even cross my mind for once. For me, victory was from Heaven, failure was from Satan. In short, I was living the life of a Pharisee at a time where I should have lived a life loving Christ.

My eyes still fill with tears as I pen down the most horrendous time of my twenty years for someone out there to drop that knife. These days even if no words reach you and none can comfort you, trust me when I ask you to give Jesus a chance. On the nights I would sit with my chin tucked on my knees, when my sobs had no voice, I felt someone lightly pushing my head to a shoulder and strong arms engulfing me. He wept with me. He wept my loss. He let me cry my guts out but he was the one to wipe those tears. He rubbed my back and whispered sweet nothings. I haven’t found a single human able to comfort me like Jesus did to me that night. You know what the difference was, with wiping my tears he also raised me up. He held my hand and hasn’t left me yet.

When you think it’s finished, he’ll begin turning your water into wine. When you think it’s over, your vessels will get filled with oil. When you think you’re alone, he’ll be your pillar of cloud through out. When you think this is the end, he’ll raise you even if it’s the fourth day.
Breaking all the histories, rules and traditions, he’ll be your Daddy.

Give him a chance sweetheart, let him rule your heart. He won’t fail you but embrace.

And this is how, I CARVED MY RENEWAL.

In Love; with HIM

Reminiscing about the Munnar camp days, particularly the second altar call on the third night by Rev. Aby Peter, inviting young souls to take a decision to Love Christ, I couldn’t feel my legs moving. In the midst of a crowd of 800, I was one of the very few left sitting. With a heavy heart and a burdened soul, I went back to the dorms that night. Alas! Sleep had left me long ago. Sitting on the stairs, gazing at the night sky, I let my tears flow free knowing very well none was out on the freezing midnight, wherein even the moon was also MIA. Wrapping a jacket around me, I sat in the solace of a paper and pen. Nothing came to me for almost two hours of me staring blankly unlike what I was used to. And that is when I realized, I had lost it. I had lost my connection. I sat there still, mourning my loss and nursing the broken heart. I had lost a relationship, all while chasing my dreams. That very night, I actually felt the heartbreak what poets described. With puffed up eyes and a running nose, under the midnight sky did I learn, one of the very important lessons for my life.
 
Hereby, young and beloved in Christ, I present to you, THE FIVE INEVITABLES FOR A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP:
 
1. CONSTANT COMMUNICATION
The first and foremost, the most important factor in any kind of relationship, is being constantly in touch with your lover. From the very good morning, the moment you wake up till the good night kiss, keeping your bae informed of you probably more than what your mum may know, it’s being constantly in touch. The amazing factor is, it happens to be a two-way relationship. “Prayer” is you talking to God and “The word” is God talking to you. It’s absolutely necessary for you to know Christ’s heart first, to love him as he deserves to be.
 
2. TRANSPARENCY IN HONESTY
Knowing each other like the back of your hand and having no secrets or hidden truths between both is the beauty of any relationship. The absence of honesty causes us pain far more than what we give it credit for. Don’t let your past hinder your present. Be transparent. Be honest. Know Christ inside out and above all, make sure Christ knows you enough that you aren’t denied entry on the final call.
 
3. OBEDIENCE AND SUBMISSION
It so happens when you love someone wholeheartedly; you grow possessive of them. Jealousy overtakes the senses and possessiveness starts running through the veins – Submission is the secret. Christ says, “Whoever loves me, hearkens to my words” with which I understand and write out of personal experience – Obedience comes natural when you’re in love, because, your motto ends to be pleasing your beloved.
 
4. PERSONAL INTIMACY
The very important inevitable part of any successful relationship is the personal intimacy between the lovers. Persis John in her book, “The Lover and his beloved” portrays the relationship with Christ as that of a married couple. If constant communication helps you be closer; intimacy let’s you inside each other breaking all the barriers.
 
5. RENEW YOUR VOWS
David, in Psalm 51 writes, “Renew a right spirit within me” – indicating a renewal. We often lose the spark and the essence of our first love in the fast paced life. It’s really important, we renew our bond, refresh the spark and keep our lamps burning without fail for a healthy long lasting relationship.
Take a step closer and taste his mesmerizing love.
 
Constantly communicating, being honest, obedient and submissive, maintaining a personal intimacy and renewing my vows, I knew I had a long way to walk in this journey, but, I was sure I had my hand risen, whenever the next altar call was. To be constant in a relationship with my Lover and to be able to behold it’s beauty.
Come on people , fall in Love ! This is YOUR MOMENT.
 
Photo Credit: Unsplash

Living the Calling

Living the Calling – Being a PK
Tears sting my eyes as I think about what happened this morning; but it had gone way out of limit today. Dad had screamed at me in front of a whole crowd just for applying a bit of gloss. He had never done it and now when he had, it hurt bad. A million questions were running a marathon in my head. The most prominent one being – “Why couldn’t I be like them?” And now, when I write “them”, no, I’m not referring to the world, no, I’m not talking about the peers; I’m talking about the present Christian generation.

I had another one of my sleepless nights that day, and I was as usual sitting with a notebook and pen, tears freely flowing thinking about the recent events. The pain was so heavy that it was hurting physically now. As my dam broke and a whimper escaped my lips, I felt someone speaking to me. I started writing not really knowing what it was. I was like that sixth grade kid writing down what was being dictated by the teacher, in this case, it was the spirit of the Lord.

The nation of Israel when led from bondage to a land promised to them generations ago, were led by a very humble and a dear friend of God, Moses. The ways in which God worked for them was completely exclusive and totally unique. This one was no different. It so happened that once as the Israelites fought a war, Aaron and Hur were asked to help Moses in keeping his hand risen towards the battlefield to make Israel win.

Dear PK reading this, the role in this play of life for you and me is somewhat similar. The mission field and the ministry bestowed upon you needs your support. Your father as he leads, needs you to keep his hands risen to ensure victory.

Paul suggests not eating meat if it causes your brother to fall in sin (as mentioned in 1 Corinthians). That’s a lifestyle change mentioned keeping in mind the purpose, to not be a reason someone chose the path of eternal hell. Sometimes the changes we need to bring causes us troubles and conflicts our lifestyle we have grown accustomed to, sometimes it irritates me and puts me in a place where I snap hearing the mere mention of the word, “Don’t”.

However, the revelation you need to get today is to know that your calling is different. It is an honor to have people look upto you. It is a privilege to have been the chosen vessel because He found us faithful (words of Paul). As someone rightly said, it’s always mind over matter. Many are called but few are chosen.

I want to encourage you today , Live the Calling with an understanding of the purpose behind it. 
Be a blessing , Be a support , Change the thinking , Lead the kingdom – You are a PK ! 

Photo Credit: Unsplash