The thing that I love most about David’s relationship with God is the fragrance of love and devotion that emanates from it. David talks of remembering God in the watches of the night, of keeping his eyes glued to God and of clinging to God. The King of Israel ticks all boxes of being love struck with God. I envy David’s love for God and often wish I could beat him to it one day.
Clinging in particular has gained new meaning for me over the past months. My little son has a peculiar habit – he hugs me ever so tight when he is most upset with me. He will be bawling his lungs out because I scolded him and yet reach out to wrap his cherubic little hands around me. It took me a while to understand what he was doing because I have exactly the opposite predisposition. If I am upset with someone I will head the other direction and bury my head in like an ostrich. This was sadly spilling over to my walk with God too.
My son taught me an important lesson: I need to cling to God even when I am hurting. No matter how deep the pain, no matter how dark the night.
Many a times the song playing on my lips leaves with notes, tunes and words all in tow as soon as I encounter an uncomfortable situation. Many a times the joy in my heart escapes through the door left ajar by fear and worry. So many times it is easier to get mad at God than to bend my knees in humility before Him. In all those times I realize now, it is not about getting away but getting closer.
You see my son has seen what I haven’t been able to. Solace can ultimately only be found in one person. For him that person is me, for me that person is Jesus. There is no fighting that fact.
So why I have been running from my God, my real comforter? Why am I pushing back my tears and pretending to be brave when His grace is just a prayer away? Why am I giving up on His promise of a good future when all I can draw about my tomorrow is a blank?
Clinging was David’s love language. I want it to become mine.